Not long ago, shortly after loosing my last child, I was sitting and talking my husband and to someone I really look up to. This person looked me in the eye and told me “You are not who you used to be. You have lost yourself.” For some reason this accusation felt like an arrow. How can I be who I used to be? All I could think was that this person has not seen me since I was a child. Of course I had changed. I had no defense.
Who was I anyways?
A wife? A mom? A blogger? A christian? Who was I? I had honestly no idea. I wasn’t anyone anymore. I had lost my own identity in effort to fall into my place in this world. To fulfill my roll, I had let ME get lost in the hustle of every day life. I had no idea who I was. I only knew the labels I had given myself and formed myself into. I no longer had passions and dreams outside of basic survival.
I was once a girl of many dreams. A girl who knew what she wanted and really had no issue stepping up and taking what I wanted. Strong and determined. I was the girl who had a baby in high school and to spite all odds GRADUATED. I let nothing stand in the way of the path I had set forth.
Some how between high school and now I had lost that strong determined nearly fearless girl. I haven’t put my all into anything is so long I couldn’t even remember that feeling anymore.
Have you Lost Yourself?
Are you like me? Answer me this. Who are you? Write it down?
No cross off EVERY label in your statement. Wife, Mother, your job title, all of it. What is left? Anything?
If your like me looking at this exercise made you want to cry. I really had lost myself. I was nothing but a label. A label playing into societies expectations.
Finding myself again…
I wish I could tell you some magical method to find who you are again. A simple way to look at yourself and see the person you where before life and conformity made you question who you relay where. I can’t. No one can. Do you want to know what the good part is? You can start fresh. You can be who YOU want to be. Find your inner spark and make it shine. When I set out to find who I was I ended up discovering what I wanted to be. (Keep Tuned to see how that turns out for me.)
Who do you want to be?
The good thing about all of this is you don’t have to chase your lost self. Take this change to be the person you want to be. Decide what your dreams are and go for them, they will NOT wait for you. Maybe, just maybe it is a good thing you lost yourself.
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