Feel like you’re Failing as a Parent? You’re Not.
As a mom, I know the struggles that come with being responsible for another’s life. It’s scary. You never know what is coming your way or how the choices you make will affect your child in the future. I can’t tell you how many times I have wondered if I am truly failing. I may have feed them hot dogs twice this week. Peanut butter and Jelly is a lunchtime staple, and sometimes homeschool equals The Magic School Bus. But well, in the end, none of that will matter.
We all have breakdowns, find ourselves screaming and wonder how we will make it through the day. We feel like we are failing no matter how we try. The truth is that is okay. It happens and there are plenty of days you start out with cuddles in bed, laugh while playing together at the park, and a good home cooked meal makes it onto the table. In the end, your children will remember you were not perfect but you loved them and that is what mattered.
Things don’t have to sparkle all the time.
Your home doesn’t have to be perfect. Sure that single friend with no kids thinks she is better than you because she doesn’t have toys on the floor and a jelly hand print in the hallway. Hold you head high because you may not have a perfectly clean home but you have so much more than she does. You have unconditional love, bedtime stories, and and you are never lonely. One day that mess will be gone and you are going to miss it.
It’s ok to let them get dirty. I once was told I was a bad mom because every time this particular lady seen my child she was dirty. In this case, it was a wife from my husband’s Army unit that only seen Monkey at two events, Halloween and Christmas. Both times I have photos to prove she arrived clean but well candy, cookies, and cupcakes happen and why should I make a 2-year-old miss the fun because she might get frosting on her dress? She would hate me now because I prescribe to the theory that dirt is good for kids. My littles have been known to spend the day romping in the mud. Life is short. Enjoy it while it lasts. They go to bed clean, they leave the house to go places clean. After that well they are kids.
Your children are watching you
Your not perfect and that can be encouraging to children. They won’t feel the pressure to be perfect because they will see first hand that we are all human and we make mistakes. They will see that you can still have happiness and success without perfection. When someone pretends to be perfect around their children they set unrealistic expectations that set their children up for heartache later. Instead, embrace the imperfect imperfectness that makes you who you are and show your children anything is possible.
Setting an example of how to deal with mistakes and flaws. No one ever remembers the good that you do but, the world today will point out the moment you mess up. You’re allowing your children to get past that and move on because you dear mom are setting an example they WILL remember. Teach your child to love themselves for who they are.
It all will truly make them stronger.
Resilience goes a long way. In our Army years, everyone always talked about building up resilient children. Children capable of rolling with the changes and bouncing back from a tough spot. The good news about raising children in an imperfect home is that as they grow they will become strong and resilient. They won’t be bothered by every change, everything that goes wrong. Your children will be strong and steady.
They won’t remember every mistake you made. Making an extra effort to build fun things into the day and make your children feel loved makes up for cereal for breakfast again. The won’t remember the cereal. They will remember the fun, the happy, the comforting. Make a point to enjoy the calm moments with your children and find joy in your time together making memories that last a lifetime.
You may not have much in life. Money is tight for most families and your children do not need to have the newest coolest fad to survive. Teaching your children to appreciate what they have goes a long way to building a life of happiness. Your love means so much more than an iPhone ever will. They will remember your sacrifices, your work ethic, and your drive to give them the best life you can. You deserve Guilt Free Motherhood. To find joy in what you have to offer and enjoy your time with your children because it will be gone before you know it.